Best Of MyLifeIsAverage

"Today I, like so many of of us, joined the Yahoo vs. Google War in both I typed in Tigger is… Yahoo came up with tigger is a wonderful thing, and on Google I got Tigger is the real cat daddy. It is obvious who won. MLIA"

"Today, I was on Webkinz. I was playing Quizzy’s Corner and one of the questions was “Which one is impossible?” The answer was “You will grow wings.” So many dreams, crushed. MLIA"

"Once Upon A Time, I realized everyones stories started with “today”. So I thought I’d Jazz things up a little around here. MLIA"

"Today I went to a party where you can buy stuff from a hostess. (Like a tupperware party but cooler). She was selling a perfume that doesn’t smell by itself, but smells different for everyone because it reacts with each person’s unique body chemistry. One friend smelled like chocolate. Another like flowers. What did I smell like? Play-doh. MLIA"

"HI IT’S BILLY MAYS! TODAY I REALIZED THAT WHEN I TURN OFF CAPS LOCK you start reading this normally and when me no use good English in sentence voice sound like caveman and when I tell you that I’m typing this in my flat in London you will start to read this in a British accent. MIND. BLOWN. MLIA"

"Today I was told that I am one in a million. There are 6.6 billion people on earth. That means there are 6,600 people that are just like me. I am now offended. MLIA."

"today, a friend and i were on Google Translator, and we translated “Liar Liar Pants on Fire” into French. Afterwards, we translated it back to English, and we got “Teller of untruths, your trousers have combusted!”. Day. Made. MLIA"

"Today my 70 year old grandpa beat me in a push up competition. He did 2. -MLIA"

"Last night, I got a mission from mysteryseeker.com, to immediatley poke the nose of the next person I saw. I was sitting on the couch next to my grandma who fell asleep. I reached over and poked her nose(a little too hard I guess). Because my grandma jumped off the couch like a ninja and socked me in the face. I now have a black eye. And it hurts… bad. MLIA"

"Today, I read this, “Today I was on DBPB and saw this post “Dear Justin Bieber, Please, at 13 you had your first love? When I was 13 I was planning world domination. Sincerely, Lord Voldermort.” This guy belongs here. HisLIA”.. I am that guy. I am here. MLIA."